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#humour#

I received these jokes this morning and had to share them. Thought they were ingenious, whoever created them.

Beauty of the English language which shows that guessing the root word may have a different meaning.

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The following questions were in a UK grade 12 equivalent examination– (Purportedly genuine answers).

Q. What is a turbine?
A. Something an Arab or Sheik wears on his head.

Q. How is dew formed?
A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

Q. What are steroids?
A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.
(Shoot yourself now, there is little hope.)

Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A. Premature death.

Q. How can you delay milk turning sour?
A. Keep it in the cow.
(Simple, but brilliant)

Q. How are the main parts of the body categorised (e.g. The abdomen)?
A. The body is consisted into 3 parts – the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the 5 bowels… A, E, I, O, U

Q. What is the fibula?
A. A small lie.

Q. What does ‘varicose’ mean?
A. Nearby

Q. Give the meaning of the term ‘Caesarean section.’
A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome .

Q. What is a seizure?
A. A Roman Emperor.
(Julius Seizure, I came, I saw, I conked out.)

Q. What is a terminal illness?
A. When you are sick at the airport.
(Irrefutable)

Q. Name the four seasons
A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

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I had to share this!!!
Cheers

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image

Credit source: Mediacock FB page

A picture says a thousand words.

What do you see in this picture?
a. Old economy work place vs Newer economy- robots , technology disrupting our lives and livelihood!
b. Who stole my lunch?
C. Mistrust between management and worker
d. A company that is top heavy?
e. Workers do not know management’s value add. Poor communication by management?
f. Managers that are not value adding to the bottom line beyond paper pushing.

If the company continues down this route, its unlikely to last long before its overtaken by competitors.

Unfortunately, its true that many workplaces are short of workers because of lack of skills and the lack of attrativeness of certain jobs.

Salaries need to be adjusted to compensate person doing the work.

I wonder, if you were the worker on the ladder, what would you do ?

a) join a union
b) quit
C) brand myself
d) network to change jobs
e) start a company
f) become part of management

Other options?