Yesterday on Singles Day, 11 November Alibaba broke their online sales record yet again. I also heard an interesting story about a Dutchman, who filed a lawsuit to lower his age by 20 years to improve job and dating prospects.
A motivational speaker and life coach by profession, he had declared the act was not a publicity stunt. Not to judge his action, since I do not know him nor understand his real circumstances, I sought instead to reflect how I would advise him if he were my client.
If indeed, someone gave you a magic wand, what would you want? The GROW Model is very useful.
Goals. What are your goals? In his case, 20 more years. But really, what are his goals? Dating a young woman in her 30s? Getting a job?
Someone once said to me. The best dopamine high is to be learning something.
Think of your goals in life as consisting 3 buckets.
1. Creating goals
2. Learning goals
3. Connecting goals
If indeed he has the body of a 49 yr old, as his doctors tell him, what would a 49 yr old do?
🦁Climb Mt Kilimanjaro?
🦁Reach out to 69 people to give them free coaching sessions?
My 62 yr old friend immediately sent me photos of an 88yr old radiographer in Singapore who is still working. Donald Trump is 72 yrs old. Hillary Clinton, his contender at the elections is 71 yrs old. Neither seemed to think their age was an issue. If Tinder app does not allow you to have dating options with women half your age. What other options do you have?
What would I want to be, live and feel at 69? How will I live my life differently then?
How will I live my life differently?
1. My assets
If you feel down and out, what assets do you still have? Youth. Loved ones. A home. Why is this man so eager to change his age? What did he perceive to be the advantages of youth? If you have lost hope, do a stock take of what you still have. No regrets. Start today.
2. Establish boundaries for yourself
Dont take bullshit from others. In some societies, age = wisdom. Are we idolising youth? At the same time talking down to the young?
Be the best that I can be
Are there certain perceived injustice that I feel that people have against me? Age? Being female? My looks? My race? Am I comfortable in my own skin? If not, who am I blaming? Jimmy O Yang, Crazy Rich Asian Star was especially insightful when asked if he had experienced racism before getting his break as a standup comedian. He said, he realised it was more helpful to ask if he had done all he could to improve his skills. Be the best you can be.
3. Do no evil
Would I be willing to deceive others and myself. Lying about my age?
4. Being relevant
No doubt this man is feeling irrelevant. He is experiencing a gap between his target audience and himself. He should be applauded for taking action, except that his action is the wrong one. We crave the approval of our ideal customer. Perhaps his real intention is to raise a mirror at society at our preference to deceive ourselves and others. At our idolising youth. At youth’s ignorance on the wasting of our years. If so, he has indeed succeeded.
5. Be empathetic
The judge in this case has my admiration. He did not ridicule the man. Everyone is carrying on a perceived injustice in their head. Fighting an imaginary battle.
This morning I sensed a new spring in my steps. As if I had been given a new lease of life. Looking at each new experience as an opportunity than a chore.
How else would you use your time? I went for the Singapore Fintech Festival at the Singapore Expo.
How would you live your life differently today?
#Moment of change
#Moment of decision
Dutchman, 69, files lawsuit to lower his age by 20 years for better dating, job prospects, Europe News & Top Stories – The Straits Times